Blog provided by Together Trust. Together Trust champions for the rights and needs of care-experienced children and people with disabilities, autism and mental health differences.
Bedtime anxieties
Sleep anxiety is common in children aged between 2 and 7 and is more than just the occasional bad dream. It refers to the fear or worry associated with going to sleep and can manifest in various ways:
- Crying or clinging at bedtime and often saying their head or tummy hurts
- Difficulty falling asleep
- Frequent night wakings
- Nightmares or night terrors
The above are often a child’s way of expressing underlying fears—whether it’s of being alone, the dark, or anxiety about something happening whilst they are asleep.
How it can look:
2 to 4 years
At this age they may tell you that they are fearful of the dark and monsters under the bed and not wanting you to leave them. They have vivid imaginations but are unlikely to be able to distinguish between what is real and what isn’t.
5 to 7 years
Their imagination still plays a role, but real life worries creep in. Fear of thunderstorms, burglars, or something happening to a parent becomes more common.
When it might happen:
- Life changes: Moving house, starting school, or family stress can trigger sleep anxiety.
- Separation anxiety: Especially in younger children, being apart from a parent can feel overwhelming.
- Overstimulation: Too much screen time or late-night activity can make it harder to wind down.
How to help:
A calming routine helps signal to the brain that it’s time to sleep. Include activities like:
- A quiet activity
- A warm bath
- Reading a bedtime story together
- Playing gentle music or white noise
- Kiss, cuddle and goodnight phrase
Your child should feel that their fears are not “silly” but are understood. Don’t give life to their fears but explain that everyone is afraid of something and support them with ways to overcome them and that you will help them to feel safe.
A cuddly toy, blanket, or nightlight can provide reassurance and a sense of control. Some children will feel calmer if they have something that has the scent of their parents on it whilst they settle.
Reducing screen time at least an hour before bed can help with melatonin production and reduce anxiety.
There are lots of mindfulness apps designed for young children with breathing exercises and guided imagery. These can all contribute to helping their mind relax.
